Samus Portrait of Smasher
by Warrior of The Healing Flame
Summary: Written for KoopalingFan's Contest'. "Dear Diary, Well I dunno what I should be writing in this thing other than the fact that almost everyone hates me for no reason." Samus has always been a loner but now learn why.


Dear Diary,

Well I dunno what I should be writing in this thing other than the fact that almost everyone hates me for no reason.

Mario calls me a 'cold-hearted bitch' after I said that Peach was cheating on him with Bowser (which is true) and even Luigi glares at me like I am a monster or something for no reason (looks like I might as well make something clear just because I can be temperamental at times doesn't mean I am a monster okay). Yoshi hates me because I don't like the Yoshi's in general. Her royal pain Peach herself is really spoiled and one of those classic ditzes that backstab people with no remorse whats so ever. For example she invited me to a party of hers which I accepted, and when I went to the party the following happened 1) Peach had brought up the fact that my parents were killed in cold blood up (which always makes me the most pissed), 2) The only meat that was available was bird meat (which I don't eat), 3) She smashed my favorite 3DS game on 'accident' and 4) She dyed my hair Pink (I hate that color). The reason why she did this is because of her hatred for me for not following her ideas (which all suck). Falco hates me because I can beat his sorry excuse of a being in everything, let me repeat that everything (even his own game), Fox on the other hand hates me because he can not tolerate my recklessness (Which is 100% of my personality) and always calling me out on it like a commanding officer. The Ice climbers or rather Popo hated me for calling him out on the fact that Popo tells Nana what to do, which he denies. An example of this would be the time that Popo picked out his favorite candy (which Nana hated) for her and made her eat it. Kirby hates me because I wouldn't tell him where the snacks are which is the same reason King Dedede hates me. Ness hates me because I don't fear Gigyas's true form in fact he has shown me a photo of his true form over nine thousand times and I wasn't scared of it, the only time I blasted a photo of his is when he showed me of Gigyas making out with Ridley (don't even ask how it's possible). That's just the group of people who admit it to my face.

Captan Falcon pretended to be friends with me and I fell for it only for him to release photos of me in a way I found unflattering ( I could tell what the photos were but then again I'll leave t up to your imagination it's more fun that way) plus release some of my most valuable secrets according to him it was a dare. Gannondorf was a trusted ally at first but then he stabbed me in the back by replacing my shampoo with pink hair dye and cutting my hair in a crew cut plus as a bonus told Peach that I was interested in Bowser all because of blackmail. Wario was a alright guy until he ate my power suit whole because of reasons I don't even want to know ,after that I had to get my power suit cleaned by a biohazzard squad and he was overall a very rude person but when I confronted him about this, he slapped me saying that I was wrong (as for his excuse all I can say is he played the 'Her royal pain told him to do it' card). The Pokemon trainer used to be my mentor teaching me how to train my pokemon (I'll get to that later) until Peach told a rumor that I hated him and thought Gary was better (he wasn't) but he believed it despite my protests but still teaches me nonetheless. The Kongs used to be training partners with me but then they accused me of cheating during a brawl with these guys (which as it turns out was a false bribe done by Peach to take a dive) but they still train with me. Olimar used to be my spiritual guru/ psychologist for a while now helping me with me being hated enemy number one but I overheard him and peach talking bad stuff about me plus he does not listen to my problems. Jigglypuff hates me because her master is Princess Peach but acts really friendly even though we both know she isn't getting a grammy anytime 's just the people that hate me but are too damn chicken to admit it.

I don't want to end this entry on a negative note by saying everyone hates me, there are people who like me and are willing to put up with my bad qualities for the sake of it. The Fire emblem quad are my sparring buddies for instance. Roy being the flustered, hot tempered who had the guts to ask me out on a date over nine thousand times of the bunch (And got rejected the violent way), Marth is the groups tactical backbone of the group, Ike is the cool guy while Lyn is the only strongest and female of the group (F.Y,I I hang out with her a lot and we are not dating). The only one I hadn't met yet was Krom but I heard him being mentioned but these guys a lot, who knows maybe he will join the SSB soon and when he does I'll start dating him (In his dreams).

Link is a great guy a gentleman who is ready to kick ass when he needs to but he has an evil side to him that I like even though I only saw it once when he and I rigged Peach's makeup to make her face look blue for an entire year and during that time we were laughing our butts off while Peach declared us as war criminals.

Zelda is my second best girlfriend but Sheik is my primary best girlfriend even though these two are sister. While Zelda is girly but fun Sheik is 100% tomboyish and together they are the champions of street fighter (I am in only second place with these guys though but I can beat them in Tekken). We play this game a lot after brawls with me as Ryu, Sheik as Juri and Zelda as Rose we fight each other with us always having fun.

Snake is a guy who plans just about anything from pranks to Tekken, oh yeah forgot to mention this part about Tekken he plays the game with Brian Fury and he kicks my ass every single time but one of these days I'll Pwn him with Jin.

That doesn't say he doesn't have reasons I should shoot him with a plasma cannon to areas unmentionable (Yes there). These reasons include 1) trying to set me and Zelda up (Although I should kiss her to piss Peach the hell off) , 2) Letting me get the Final smash so he can see my Zero Suit, 3) Hijacking my Power suit to do Jackass stunts and 4) Stealing My god hand (Yes I own the god hand and a gun blade because I can). Why I'm still friends with him I don't know but hey he is a good guy plus if I needed to I could have him rig Peaches final smash to have her expose a video of Bowser and Peach K-I-S-S-I-N-G during her Brawl with Mario (I'm very evil like that).

Pit is my right hand arsenal (Yes I said that word ladies and gentlemen) because if I need any sort of weapon from him, I just ask and he would give it to me hell he'd even bring a full truckload of weapons for me If iI'd so wish (and have master hand revoke my smasher hood for attempted war on the mansion. Plus he knows a way to sky world where Palutanea waits for me to help with world of warcraft (Yes even the goddess of light plays world of warcraft). After that Palutanea and I watch anime and play whatever we want to on her many video game systems (Just to make this clear she has EVERY SINGLE VIDEO GAME SYSTEM IN THE UNIVERSE). I know where to go where I get the boot from the smash mansion.

Mewtwo, Doctor Mario , Pichu and Yong Link all act as my real support group (**** you Olimar) and they even are real nice guys. Mewtwo helps me meditate in order to help me calm down whenever I am in a state of stress but he odes it gently and calming so that he doesn't feel like he is invading my mind. Doctor Mario is the one who I talk about my problems with and actually listens to them. Pichu is my moral support that comforts me by being cute and allowing me to snuggle with (If word of this gets out I'll find whoever did this and make them suffer). Young Link is like the son I never had, out of the four, he helps a lot by helping me deal with my hatred of Ridley by punching his stuffed corpse (I have no Idea where he got that and I don't even want to know how he did it).

But most of all my friends is the Pikachu who is my pokemon, Clare. The story on how I found this thing was that I was visiting the pokemon world when I found this female Pikachu being attacked by wild Dragonites which I defeated with my Ice beam. Later it followed me after I rejected it, one day however this Pikachu followed me to the space pirate planet and I was in deep **** but then the Pikachu used a thunder attack that saved me. After that she became my buddy for a while and I gave it the nickname Clare after a claymore character.

Well anyway this is my life and if you ever feel like me, always look to the light no matter how small it may be because even the smallest of lights has the greatest of warmth.

Samus aran.


End file.
